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From my Logan Square attic window on a Wednesday (after Frank O’Hara)

How funny are my kids today

like when they were toddlers on my cellphone videos
their laughter high pitched

here I sit remembering happiness
I’m tired of only focusing on their tantrums
they love me even when I’m mad
all I want is to have conversations with them
where they divulge their thoughts and feelings
and I nod understanding them
annoying, overwhelming, tantrums are a sign of needing to release
thoughts that trigger feelings—two things that always go together—
and when the thoughts that trigger the feelings are known
we can discuss a way to work through them
and then for the rest of the day (what a virtual day)
I can remember that tantrum and think
the kids aren’t so bratty after all

where is Angelina Jolie
shopping at Target with her kids
and Jon Voight at home waiting for a call from CBS
outside my window people walk around without facemasks
wondering if they will be gawked by face-maskers
Palmer Park is filled with runners, walkers, and people swinging
on over-complicated single-colored macas
these people often mistaken themselves as woke
and why not
they’re in Logan Square, home of Revolution Brewing
and in a way aren’t they a revolution
causing forced evictions and rent hikes

my husband’s parents bought this home
due to being so close to the train
it didn’t matter that there was no back door
their loan agent approved it
all those loan agents have left since the collapse of the market
many homeowners have long lost their home and cannot fight to buy another
not that they would be approved for a home this time around
with the possibility of unemployment due to COVID

the sun is shining through my south-facing attic window
heating up my left thigh
so I can take off my dull thick sweater
only to wear it later
at 9 at night
once the kids are asleep in bed

it’s wonderful
to see different forms of paroxysms
and asking my kids many questions
and listening to their answers
and observing their growth

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