Skip to main content

#dream

June 18, 2012

I was on top of the stairs, stairs covered in nice, tight, beige-brown color. A flat screen tv was on the wall to my left. It was showing how she was told by another nurse to not forget a meeting. She went to the meeting and that nurse was at the head of the table. There were four more nurses there. Two on each side. My mom had the end of the table. The head nurse, Regina?, said something that made someone else say if it weren't for my mom, she wouldn't be there. A pregnant nurse, on my moms left side, stood up. She explained that my mom was able to talk to her baby. My mom then stands up, goes behind the nurse, and wraps her arms around the belly. The belly gave off an orange glow and she said "It's happy." 

A little boy in a dark, denim suit is going up the stairs next to me. I asked a young couple close behind him if that was their son. They said no. Then, a small crowd of people were coming up the stairs. In the front, there was a guy in a gray T-shirt,  jeans, sunglasses, and cornrows. He was facing down, talking to someone and when he turned, I knew it was Big Red. I got up with the baby in my arms and went up a couple steps to walk to an office, my office. I shared it with Jessie but Josie was there making something with couscous. She told me about Jessie changing the floor to her new apartment. A flash of the actress playing my mom and she was on Jessies kitchen floor. She was talking about replacing mostly the tile in front of the sink. When a voice told her, you are better than this, in a whisper. My actress mom  trembled, as if she was tortured from these words. She arranged bottles of detergent in a wagon and then hid in-between them. I couldnt find the time on the tv screen. Josie pointed out Jessie was at home. I looked up. Instead of a ceiling, I saw a dark sky filled with specks of stars. There was a long building on my right with unpainted wooden stairs. It was the back of the building. Somehow I saw or realized it was 10pm. I went for the car keys. I was in an empty lot. I got in the car, navy blue, and drove to Jessie's.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

June

This is the second time I see you and you are no longer a little boy.  You're much taller, your hair, you've let grow.  You are a young man with a crown of cornrows.  We meet in the city, with your dad, at a sidewalk cafe. You walk away from my view. Maybe to pick up our drinks.  Your dad speaks to me this time. He's no longer the brooding man on the couch. Y our dads  much older since I last saw you. His eyes are droopy but they rise when he speaks of you and when he smiles. His freckles show more; on his nose bridge, on the high part of his cheeks. His dreds  are thicker but the color is lighter, like brown, smoky, dusk. His glasses are the same thin metal frames from always. He t ells me how well you're doing. How well your both doing. How everything is well. I mention your grandmother- I heard about your mom.  I reach out and place my hand over his-  I'm really sorry.  Your dad's bottom lip quivers and he gives me a nod.  You come...

The importance of the brown round table

It wasn't until last summer that i felt the need to write down my mother's and father's personal stories It wasn't until last week that i felt the value in each individual piece I don't feel value in my other pieces or my work at my office job which helps so many people but what is the value of a life lived in Chicago, as a woman, as a brown woman as a woman who labels herself Mexican and chubby is it only up to me to build this value, to build it inside of me so that others can feel then see that i do belong here that my words belong on this page for you to read

El amor is nothing but a victim of human desire

When you get to the longest tunnel on the express, hold your breath 'til the end then make your wish, she said. We always passed through that tunnel on I90/94. We lived by Belmont and California Avenue. My mom or dad would get on the express way via the Kedzie Avenue entrance. Evertime we'd get to the downtown tunnel I'd hold my breath with the strong faith of a religious woman and repeated,  I want love, I want love, I want someone to love me. A white long sleeve shirt from Discovery that had the word "LOVE"--a heart in place of the "O"-- in black bold Calibri font was my favorite shirt in sixth grade. I was eleven years old. It was a fitted shirt my dad's young girlfriend bought me with my dad's money. Or maybe it was just a gift from her. Or maybe she took me to Discovery and let me pick out what I wanted--a pair of shorts with glitter buttons on the hips, a crop top that had a white transparent shirt underneath. A boy from my class wa...