Skip to main content

midnight hours

I had a dream I was sleeping.
ring-ring, ring-ring
My left arm pulled from under the covers
I slammed my hand on the phone, a drawling 'hello?'

Swoosh!

A black wave of darkness flowed over me.
It started to lean closer and closer.
I began to hear nothing but a buzz, a static connection, the sound of a light saber.
Pressure was placed on my chest-I've felt this before, I 've deliberately seeked this before.
But not now, not tonight.
I don't know how, but I'm walking oustide.
I'm in a panic, a realization of my brittle state of mind. My palms sweaty.
"why must you do this?!", she asked. "What about me and my metal health?!"

I know you're crazy but this isn't about you. It's for me. My breath shortening after every passing word, thought.

For a lingering moment, I did not know what I was searching for, until I found the one house, on the residential street, that had its lights on.
I walked up the stairs, opened the door and searched past the the small living room with no TV but a comfy brown, leather lazy-boy.
I passed another open room only lit by the room across it-a kitchen? an Office?
This 'koffice' was lit with a warm auburn glow. The long wall ahead was cut with many uncovered windows. The moonlight on the shrubs outside. I looked slightly to the left and there he was.
I sat in the chair opposite him. He seemed to be waiting for me.
His short curls were unkept but oddly had no frizz.

I need your help.
I went on and explained the ringing phone I only see and hear, the dark blanket-like wave that caused my ears to burn and my chest to heave.
I need to be admitted.

"Are you sure?," he said.
I'm sure.

Comments

Popular posts from this blog

June

This is the second time I see you and you are no longer a little boy.  You're much taller, your hair, you've let grow.  You are a young man with a crown of cornrows.  We meet in the city, with your dad, at a sidewalk cafe. You walk away from my view. Maybe to pick up our drinks.  Your dad speaks to me this time. He's no longer the brooding man on the couch. Y our dads  much older since I last saw you. His eyes are droopy but they rise when he speaks of you and when he smiles. His freckles show more; on his nose bridge, on the high part of his cheeks. His dreds  are thicker but the color is lighter, like brown, smoky, dusk. His glasses are the same thin metal frames from always. He t ells me how well you're doing. How well your both doing. How everything is well. I mention your grandmother- I heard about your mom.  I reach out and place my hand over his-  I'm really sorry.  Your dad's bottom lip quivers and he gives me a nod.  You come...

El amor is nothing but a victim of human desire

When you get to the longest tunnel on the express, hold your breath 'til the end then make your wish, she said. We always passed through that tunnel on I90/94. We lived by Belmont and California Avenue. My mom or dad would get on the express way via the Kedzie Avenue entrance. Evertime we'd get to the downtown tunnel I'd hold my breath with the strong faith of a religious woman and repeated,  I want love, I want love, I want someone to love me. A white long sleeve shirt from Discovery that had the word "LOVE"--a heart in place of the "O"-- in black bold Calibri font was my favorite shirt in sixth grade. I was eleven years old. It was a fitted shirt my dad's young girlfriend bought me with my dad's money. Or maybe it was just a gift from her. Or maybe she took me to Discovery and let me pick out what I wanted--a pair of shorts with glitter buttons on the hips, a crop top that had a white transparent shirt underneath. A boy from my class wa...

Surprise

and here I was, thinking and making myself believe, many other things. when, from the beginning to the end, we have always been family and friends. -feeling thankful for the love the world has shown to me. for helping me to learn to love myself and for helping me learn to let others love me. for, we all deserve love and we all should cherise those that love us. -now, to work with my mind. to have her understand that there is love in this house, there is no danger around, and for her to feel more secure to plant herself on the warm ground. for, there is love in this house. there is love all around, whether there are quarrels or not, love is at heart.