Never trust a word unless the words are coming from her Never able to question her motives though she scrutinized my own. I didn't know she had anxieties and I didn't know I had my own Then came the day my child was born. I feared for myself, for himself, because it took them a second to smile, they banged the dished too loud, they forgot to say hello. These thoughts were all my own. But the machine churning them was not something that was just born It came from her I believed every word she said. I was smart, I was lazy, very needy Until I dared to utter names back to her You ignore us, you need us, you talk to us when it is a convenience to you. So, I've split you. I was told the splitting was something done subconsciously To help me understand what was going on when she Would do things and say things that contradicted the peace I believe she tried to give to me I understand her and I don’t and i